From the Diary of an Unfit Mind

From the Diary of an Unfit Mind
Coffee and Pen Paper and Notes Paper and Notes Paper and Notes

My Birthday Surprise

April 5, 2017

As a certified crazy Bipolar person, I admittedly go through my share of ups and downs. Having Bipolar Disorder means sometimes being hit with extreme emotional highs and lows that can be triggered or aggravated by life events, or as they are mostly for me, these fluctuations can be random and out of the blue. I like to think my brain just likes to keep me on my toes. So when a few days before my 30th birthday, I got knocked on my butt by a depressive cycle, I just hoped it would pass in time for me to be able to bust out my B-day tiara and sash. Sometimes I don’t mind the unmotivated depressive states that cause me to watch Project Runway marathons in bed all day while sporadically crying, because who doesn’t love spending an entire day with Tim Gunn? But I try to power through those days as best I can and come out on the other side. Sometimes, I have to push myself past my comfort zone and ask for a little help, so I let my husband know it was going to be a rough week for me. Knowing how special this momentous birthday was to me, he decided it was time to bust out the big guns. 

    One morning last week, I dragged myself out of bed and decided to try and get back to work. I sent some emails, scanned some contracts, and kept trying to slowly shed the unseen weight on my shoulders. And then I heard a voice call out to me from down the hall. Confused, an assortment of questions ran through my head, “Did we invite company over?” “Did I remember to put a bra on today?” I looked up from my computer and boobs and my eyes were treated to the sight of one of my favorite women in the entire world, Celeste Bonin. As is second nature for us, she provided a steady base as I immediately pounced on her like a spider monkey. Sure I was annoyed that if I spend two hours getting ready I am only capable of looking a tenth as together and amazing as she does after a day of flying across the country in a dry, germ filled airplane, but mostly I was a giddy school girl. Celeste has been my confidante and one of my best friends for years, but it’s been a while since we’ve been within mounting distance. It’s almost impossible to keep a secret from me, as I am both perceptive and paranoid as hell, but for the first time I was swept off my feet and onto my ass from a surprise. I had an amazing birthday knowing I have the best two life partners a girl could ever ask for. 

    Mood disorders and depression can grab a hold of you at the most inopportune times. It can be so difficult to reach out and ask for help, but you might be surprised to see how far the people in your life will go to make you smile. And if you know someone who is having a rough week, I fully encourage you go out of your way to bring some light into their life. Or at least some donuts, chocolate, coffee, cake and pizza- as was done for me. It’s more than possible to power through and make yourself feel strong again, but sometimes it’s just nice to have two husbands. 


AJ Signature